I dream to heal your wounds but I bleed myself
by blackkitty479
Summary: What if you lived in a world where you could feel everything your soulmate feels, be it pain of any kind, joy, or sorrow? Basically a Teslen soulmate AU.
1. Chapter 1

_**Apparently I get on this site like once a year... ah well, I hope this story will end up being worth it... Apart from the obvious AU stuff (which is that we are in a world where you can feel anything your soulmate feels... and other stuff I'll disclose when I get there :P ) I'm going to try and stay as close to canon as possible (or canon plus my idea of canon if you wish). Point of view will alternate from time to time. And you'll end up hating me probably xD.**_

* * *

There are many things that a five year old child is able to understand, given proper explanations. Of course, they don't have to always be true, just plausible enough for them to get. The sun doesn't set because the Earth turns around it, it disappears from the sky because it goes to sleep and sometimes it rains because the clouds feel sad and they start crying.

But perhaps the easiest thing to understand for a five year old child is the idea of love. If you asked a child what love means, he would probably not be able to give a scientific definition of it. But then again, who can? What a five year old child would answer when asked about love would be along the lines of how his mother somehow managed to pay the same amount of attention to him and all of his sisters, even if sometimes it seemed she only had eyes for his brother. The answer may also be the look said brother had had in his eyes the first time when his father had told him he was allowed to ride on his horse.

There was something magnificent in the way they moved, horse and rider, as if they were one, galloping on the lawn that was in front of their house, and the little boy couldn't help but watch in awe as his brother dashed in the wind, faster and faster, until it was hard for him to distinguish his features. There was something in the wind that day, however, and the horse seemed to notice it, because suddenly, it stopped and for a moment the little boy could swear the world had frozen in place for a short time. The horse, now without a rider, stood still for a few seconds, as if it was contemplating what it had done. And then realization seemed to hit him, because it kicked back with his feet and then galloped back to the stable, refusing to look behind.

The boy would have probably stayed in place for a very long time if it wasn't for his brother's cry of help that woke him up with a shock. He ran towards his brother and found him lying in the grass, a thin stream of blood flowing from his forehead. His brother moved his lips, as if trying to say something, but no sound came out. Instead, the older boy took his brother's hand into his own and squeezed as hard as he could, as if he was trying to somehow steal a bit of his brother's life force to stay there a bit more. But that was impossible, and so the young boy could do nothing but pass his hand through his brother's hair, watching his blood painting his fingers with a mixture of awe and horror. When he realized his brother wasn't breathing, it was already too late. He cried after his mother and she came running, but there was nothing she could do anymore. There was nothing anyone could do. But that was not something a five year old child would understand. This is why when his mother took him in her arms, trying to separate him from his brother, he started to cry. Why was she telling him to go in the house, couldn't she see that Dane was still there and he apparently wanted to lie in the grass and not leave anytime soon?

His mother took his hand into her own, the one that still had his brother's blood on it, and tried to say something to him, but she wasn't making any sense. He didn't want to be strong, he didn't want to go back to the house and call for help. His mother had always been able to fix everything wrong that had happened to either of her children, so why not now? But in the end, he obeyed her advice and left her alone in the grass with his brother. Later on, he was going to understand that his mother probably knew at the time that no help was going to fix that; she just didn't want him to watch his brother take his last breath.

But now, he didn't understand much of what was happening to him. He went back to the house, as his mother advised, and told his father what happened. He was hoping that his father would allow him to go back, but it didn't happen. His father asked him to stay in the house, promising that everything will be alright and that he will come back soon.

Problem was, there are some things that you can't explain in such a way that a five year old child can understand. And the fact that their brother was never going to come back is one of them. When his mother first told him those words, he didn't want to believe her. Everything was probably just a bad dream and it was going to go away soon. It was only when his father entered the house carrying his brother's lifeless body that reality came into place. He was never going to see his brother again, they were never going to play together again and their parents were never going to watch one of the marvelous things his brother used to do. He wanted to cry, but tears refused to leave his eyes. He just felt numb, like his body was in such a state of shock that it couldn't feel anything.

And, despite what his parents told him, he could tell they were lying. They told him that they knew exactly how he felt, but that was a lie. He was convinced there was not a single person in the world who could possibly know what he was feeling in that moment. Problem was, he was wrong about that. Thousands of miles away, in a house in London, a ten year old little girl stormed into her father's office, crying because of the loss of a brother she had never had.


	2. Chapter 2

Could you possibly love someone you never met just because fate says you're supposed to end up with him? The idea had always seemed rather stupid to her, and taking part in classes that were all about how lucky you were to have fate design someone for you and how you were supposed to sit in your corner and wait until your soulmate was going to find you, about how the moment he sees you he will instantly fall in love with you and of course, her favourite part, the one in which you were so lucky to know exactly what he feels because that helped you guess each of his wishes and of course fulfill them, only made it worse. Of course, that day when she had first felt him, when she had run to her father, crying because she felt her soulmate's pain, the day her parents had first talked to her about the soulmate bond, she had asked a lot of questions, wanting to know as much about him as possible.

But the truth was, years had taught her it was better to wait. She wanted to be surprised, or at least that was what she used to tell herself at night. Her friends thought differently, though, and she had learnt the hard way that "I'm more interested in attending medical school than finding out who my soulmate is" was not exactly something appropriate to say. So she participated in her friends' games, trying to guess what he looked like, how he was going to sweep her off her feet the moment she would lay eyes on him, the works. Thankfully, her friends got married soon enough so they left her alone.

Come to think at it, she hadn't felt much from her soulmate in the last years. There was that time when she felt like a bird had pinched her, but that was pretty much it. Until one day, when she woke up and felt her body burning. She touched the back of her hand to her forehead, trying to determine if she had fever, but she felt normal to the touch. It didn't change the fact that her whole body was aching, or that she suddenly felt so tired that even getting out of bed seemed an impossible burden. That had been almost nine months ago and things hadn't changed that much in the meanwhile. On the bright side, at least she knew why she hadn't met him yet. Given the fact that London hadn't seen an epidemic of cholera in the past few years, it was pretty safe to assume he wasn't around.

"He's still not getting better, is he?" Patricia sighed as she absent-mindedly let her fingers pass through her daughter's curls.

"No." Helen sighed as she shifted under the covers. "I'm scared, mother. What if he doesn't survive this? It's been almost nine months, his fever hasn't dropped and I can feel him getting weaker with each day."

"I'm sure he'll be alright, honey." Patricia encouraged her. "I'm sorry you have to get through this. It's one of the downsides of the soulmate bond."

"What you mean there are more?" Helen laughed weakly.

"You try and ask your father what it was like when I gave birth to you."

"I wish I could do something to help him." Helen sighed. "I'm not saying I love him"- she added when she saw her mother's look- "but it makes me feel awful knowing that someone is in pain and I can't help them"

"Always the doctor, aren't you?" Patricia smiled. "But I know he will be alright in the end. After all, he has a lot to live for. He'll meet you one day and you two will marry and have children…"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Helen cut her off. "I still don't see how he being my soulmate forces either of us to go through all of that."

"You know I was just as skeptic when my mother told me about this. But trust me, it will change. The moment you kiss your soulmate you feel that everything has fallen into place and that you will never be alone ever again. And there is also the fact that you feel everything he feels, which… well. I suppose you can figure it has its benefits."

"But what if he doesn't like me? Father said just because you have a soulmate, it doesn't mean they have to love you back. He said some of us don't have soulmates, and some have more than one."

"Yes but those cases are extremely rare, Helen. And I would say you have a powerful bond with yours. Cholera or not, you shouldn't have taken it that bad."

"Somehow that is not very encouraging." Helen sighed. "As far as I know, he might not even survive this."

"Well you should make sure you stay calm then. Try and rest. He's busy enough fighting the disease, feeling you worry over him will probably make things worse."

"You're right." Helen admitted. "I will go to sleep now." She said and closed her eyes, waiting for her mother to exit the room. It was only when she didn't hear her footsteps anymore that she opened her eyes. Fooling her mother was easier than she had thought. Granted, she may have not loved him… _yet_ , at least, but she would be damned if she let him die. Not on her watch, oh no. And yes, he was probably thousands of miles away, but it wasn't like it mattered. What it mattered was that in those moments, she could feel that he was thinking about giving up the fight, as if he had nothing left to fight for. Well that was about to change. What she planned on doing was nearly unprecedented and probably dangerous as hell. But all that mattered to her at the moment was to ensure he lives. So she grabbed her wrist and squeezed as hard as she could, as she let fever take over her.

 _It's not here. The virus is not in your body so anything you feel is just in your head_. She tried to tell herself, but in that moment she didn't believe it. Not when she felt like a thousand needles had stung her skin at once, and not when she felt herself burning with fever. But if it helped him, none of it mattered in the end. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to maintain the connection open as long as possible, but in the end fatigue won over her and she fell unconscious.

However, her efforts had not been in vain because thousands of miles away, a young man had just got better and started negotiating with his father where he was going to go to study engineering.


	3. Chapter 3

He didn't want to believe in the soulmate thing, despite what his parents had told him. It didn't work this way for him, and it never could. There was no scientific explanation why this could work, so this had to be a fairy tale. He had even asked his parents what it was like when they first met, if they knew they were soulmates from the first time they have seen each other, trying to coax them into saying that there was a bit of attraction, but the certainty of it came a lot later, because that sounded a lot more plausible, but they had disappointed him. They had told him that it was hard to describe, his mother giving him a lot of poetic justifications to which his father just smiled, but they both had known the second they laid eyes on each other.

And still, there was a part of him that told him that maybe this thing was possible, that if you had a soulmate you were somehow connected to them through the energy of the universe, that you were two opposite poles of a magnet just waiting to meet and to touch… But this was just a theory, and one that didn't rely itself on too many proven facts.

There were however some facts that he could not deny. Number one, his soulmate was someone who really had a thing for healing people. A doctor, maybe, even if being a woman and a doctor in that time was almost impossible. Number two, she was crazy as hell. Using the soulmate bond to heal someone was something not many had dared to try from what he knew… and the ones who tried mostly failed. She hadn't failed, obviously, because if it wasn't for her he would have died from cholera. And the last and the most important fact, he was probably never going to meet her. And even if he did, he doubted it could ever work. Science was his only love, and to think he could love someone so deeply that he would give science up for her… that sounded a bit impossible. But there was still a part of him that wanted to meet her, even if only to thank her for saving his life all those years ago.

What he never expected was that one day in Oxford would prove him how wrong he had been. It was a bit too grey for his taste, a bit too dark, but nothing could have prepared him for what was coming.

There was no color in Oxford, no life, and what was worse, almost no light, but then again electricity at that time was a bit scarce and he was doing his best to fix that, but it took time, so for the moment he was forced to settle with what he had, which were some flickering lights that were starting to fade. This was why the sight of a crimson dress caught his attention that much. It was such a stark contrast to the surroundings that he couldn't help but stop and look, trying to determine who was the woman who had the audacity to dress herself like that. It wasn't that he didn't think women could dress whatever the hell they liked, it was just that most women wanted just to fit in, but not her, oh no. He was probably too busy staring at her, or something had crossed her mind, making her not watch where she was going… Either way, somehow he bumped into her and that was the moment he realized his parents had been right all along, and so had been him in some ways.

If someone would have asked him what was it like, meeting your soulmate, he would have said that it was a lot of things at once. It was realization at first, hitting him like lightning the moment when he saw her blue eyes. It was warmth, the feeling of her hands in him as he checked if she was alright. It was power, somehow knowing that she hurt a bit even if she denied it, trying to sound like she wasn't too affected. It was attraction, more powerful than any magnet, the moment she smiled at him, assuring him she was alright. There were also seconds of pure happiness, seconds in which he didn't care that he probably looked like a fool, happiness that he had found her so suddenly and when he least expected it… but mostly it was pain. He had heard that the whole soulmate thing was not a two way function, that just because somebody was your soulmate you didn't have to be hers, but he had always thought that he was going to be the one who won't be able to reciprocate the feelings. But he had been so wrong… The pain of that moment was too hard to bear. Seconds felt like years while he waited some sort of recognition from her, the same kind that was probably all over his face now, but nothing came back. He even dug his nails into his palm, hating himself for causing her even the smallest bit of pain, but she didn't even flinch. She just straightened her dress, assuring him time and again that bumping into eachother was probably mostly her fault and that he shouldn't be worried about her, and then she turned around and left, not throwing him a single glance back.

"Can you tell me your name, please?" He shouted after her and she stopped midway.

"Why so you know who you almost knocked out?" She asked smiling at him.

"Something like that." Nikola shrugged. "My name is Nikola Tesla. See? Now you have to tell me your name too or you'll know more about me than I know about you. That is hardly fair."

"Life is rarely fair, Mr. Tesla." She was sad for some reason now and he could feel it. But it wasn't like he could ask her what made her sad given the fact that officially speaking he had no reason to know that. "I'm Helen Magnus. I don't know what good it does to you though since you'll never see me again probably." And with those words she left, and for a moment he was glad that she couldn't feel what he felt. Because his soulmate had just looked straight at him and she didn't have the faintest idea who he was, and that was killing him. But he would be damned if that was going to be the end of it.


	4. Chapter 4

He wasn't stalking her. No, he just happened to be there at 9 o'clock in the evening, and he also happened to know she was going to be there soon enough because she had been in the last three days. And she was probably not going to be alone. Again. Her usual companion was a tall dark man, his long hair gathered in a ponytail at the back of his neck. They seemed pretty close, always holding hands, him always leading the way, but there was something wrong about them, or at least that was the impression that they had left on him. And no, he was not jealous, but there was something in the way he held her, a bit too tight, like she was so fragile that she was going to break if she only stepped out of place. But that had to be a wrong impression. Someone who was bold enough to use the soulmate bond to heal her soulmate couldn't be fragile at all.

"You're wasting your time, mate." A voice interrupted Nikola's thoughts. He turned around and saw a short man staring at him. He didn't seem angry, more like amused, with a little twinkle in his eyes.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean." Nikola said on a defensive tone.

"Helen." The other man replied. "One, she's way out of your league. Two, she's taken. Three, you're lucky I was the one who caught you stalking her. The others are not so friendly."

"The others? How many suitors does she have exactly?"

"Just one, but she has friends, and those friends really don't like when people are stalking her. Stalking _us_."

"Why? What are you doing at night in the campus anyway?"

"Something which is also way out of your league, Mr…"

"Tesla."

"So you're not from around. What are you doing here, apart from stalking women?"

"I work for Edison's company in Paris, I came here on a holiday."

"So you're a physicist. I might end up liking you after all. But only if you stop stalking. I'm Nigel Griffin." The man said as he extended a hand, which Nikola shook.

"So, what are you lot up at night?" Nikola asked.

"I'll tell you what, mate. If you stick around you might find out. And trust me it's not going to be pretty."

"I'll take the chance anyway." Nikola shrugged, making Nigel roll his eyes. "Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you."

She was angry. He had never felt her this angry before, and he couldn't help worry. But then again, maybe it was the fact that he was awfully close to her now and that was why he felt more of her as of late.

"I will not quit, John! Not now, not when we are so close!" He saw her storming out of the building, slamming the door behind her. The man who had been with her closely followed her, trying to get her to feel better, but it was obviously not working.

"And what the hell do you want to do? We need someone who works with electricity, Griffin doesn't know a thing about that and it's not like we can advertise it. We are too many as it is, we can't trust someone from the outside, not now."

"I'll find a way." Helen sighed as she sat on a bench.

"I think it's time to forget this, Helen. It was fun while it lasted, but I think we should take this as a sign to move on with our lives. With everything." The man sat next to her, taking her hand into his own.

"I don't want to talk about this now, John."

"Always letting work get in the way huh." The man sighed.

"I'm sorry, my love, I really am." She said as she caressed the man's face. "You know I hate doing this to you, but I have to get this out of my head. And then we can think about everything else."

"About us?"

"Yes, about that too." She smiled at him, her lips brushing over his for a second.

"I'll take you home." The man sat up, offering Helen his hand.

"Actually I think I'll go alone. No offense, John, but I need to clear my mind off things. And don't say a word about how it's not proper of me to do that."

"I can't win with you, can I?"

"Not really, no." Helen smiled at him. "I'll see you tomorrow." Her tone was final and the man seemed to realize it, because he left with a sigh.

The moment he left, she hated herself. Why was she being so cold to him? She loved him, and he loved her, and yes they weren't soulmates, but she had sworn that she wasn't going to let this get in the way of their love. But then again, she had moments when she felt like he didn't get her. Like nobody get her. And yes, it was explainable, being a woman that wanted to learn in that century and all. And most probably founding a group that tried to change the world ultimately hadn't helped at all. The Four had been her life, but now everything was going to go to pots because she didn't have a bloody physicist. It was hardly fair, but she wasn't going to let that stop her.

"Are you sure you want to go home alone at this hour?" A voice called after her. Great. Exactly what she needed.

"I fail to see how that would be your problem, Mr. Tesla." she answered when she turned around and saw him.

"Well I was just passing around and I thought it would be common sense to offer to take you home. I'm not saying you can't handle yourself" he added when he saw her look. "But you just seemed to look like you need a company."

"What are you some sort of a psychic?"

"Not quite, no. I work in Paris, for Edison's company."

"Electricity?" Helen asked with a smile.

"Yes. I still think direct current is useless, but for now I don't have any choice."

"Direct current is the only feasible thing there is."

"So they say." Nikola smiled at her. "I just happen to think differently. It's inefficient, too much loss of power, and transporting it… don't even get me started."

"So, in theory, if you wanted to use electricity to filter something, you wouldn't use direct current?"

"Depends on what exactly you want to filter, but mostly no."

"And if one wanted to filter blood?"

"Theoretically?"

"Of course."

"Well you would need to use alternating current. And you would also need someone who knows how to work with it."

"You know what I might use the company after all." Helen said after considering a bit. "But don't let it go to your head."

"I wouldn't even dream of that."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Yeah I couldn't write Delen/Magnitt if my life depended on it. I know, I know. I know I promised I will keep to canon, and well... this means not making Druitt a major ass because he was not so much of an ass back when he was with Helen and still sane... so since I couldn't make him an ass and I had to offer a plausible explanation for why they got engaged... this was the closest I could get. And yeah it's not 100% cannon, but it's really close to it - watch Tempus and Normandy if you don't believe me.**_

* * *

He had found out a lot of things about her. One, she was a doctor, as impossible as that may have sounded in that age. Sure, she didn't have a degree, society wouldn't have allowed that, but she didn't let that stop her. She had assisted lectures and she had learned, and now she was one of the best surgeons in Oxford, albeit an unofficial one. And speaking of unofficial stuff, she had founded a group of people dedicated to expanding their knowledge, pushing their boundaries and in general doing some weird research in the university at night.

When she had first invited him to a meeting of what was then The Four, he had no idea what he was getting himself into, but it wasn't like it mattered that much. It allowed him to be with her, even to do science with her, and that was more than enough for him.

He had entered the dim-lightened room being a lot more nervous than he had wished. Helen greeted him with a smile and introduced him to the others. The tall man that was near Helen all times was John Druitt, and he had learned pretty fast that the only things they had in common was their liking for Helen and their dislike of each other. And there was also the problem of Druitt being the only one who wasn't a scientist and the one who had probably got in the group just because he was Helen's… whatever he was. James Watson was a remarkable biologist, and Nikola would have liked him a lot more if he hadn't been busy tailing after Druitt at all times, and Nigel Griffin… he was probably the one who was the friendliest with Nikola.

"Helen, why do we need him?" Druitt sneered, not even bothered by the fact that Nikola was there.

"Electricity. You said it yourself, we need someone who is good with this, and since Nigel can't help us…"

"So he just shows up? This is awfully convenient, don't you think? Helen you know what we're doing here, we can't risk letting someone we don't trust in."

"Actually I've met him." Nigel intervened. He threw Nikola a quick glance, causing him to curse silently. If Nigel told the others that he had been stalking Helen…

"We didn't talk much, but I can tell he's a persistent one." Nigel grinned. "I don't know how you stumbled across him, but I say we let him prove himself. After all, we had all proven we deserve a place in this group and I see no reason why we can't extend this to others."

"Four is enough, Nigel." Druitt cut him off.

"What's the matter Johnny, you're afraid of a little competition?" Nigel mocked him. "Come on, we all know you've earned your place here, let him try too."

"Gentlemen. I never said this is going to be permanent." Helen interfered. Mr. Tesla is here to help us with filtering the sample, entering our group is a whole other story."

"Speaking of which, which type of blood are we talking about?" Nikola asked.

"It's just a sample I got from my father. Quite a rare one I might add, the species is almost extinct."

"So it's old. Then why isn't it clotted?"

"That's a story for another day, Mr. Tesla." Helen smiled. "Prove your worth and I may tell you one day."

"There are bigger secrets I want to find out by getting in, my lady." Nikola smiled back at her. "But this will do if you don't want to share the others with me."

"I happen to love my secrets, Mr. Tesla."

"One must wonder who made you love them so much, then. You only get to love your secrets if sharing them with others normally brings you pain. Oh, and you can call me Nikola."

"We don't have all day here, _Nikola_." Druitt spat at him.

"You can keep calling me Mr. however. The invitation was only for her." Nikola spat back. "So, where is that blood sample?"

Filtering the blood had been the easiest part. Working with Helen in the next months, trying to determine what the hell she was doing, because it had become pretty obvious that she wasn't doing just some random experiments, that she had a much bigger aim, but what was it, he couldn't say… that was the hard part. But it didn't even begin to compare to how bad it was seeing her with Druitt, the two of them brushing fingers accidentally, gazing into eachother's eyes from time to time… He could get the part where she had another soulmate than him, but said soulmate being Druitt… that was so not fair. But still, he could be close to her, and so he stayed and helped her in each way he could.

* * *

"Helen you can't possibly be serious. He filtered some blood; you don't get people in The Four because of that."

"Well actually it will be The Five from now on, John." Helen smiled at him. They had left the university and they were sharing a carriage on their way back home. She had decided that she was going to let Nikola in. Well not tell him everything, she couldn't afford that, not yet, but the truth was they could use an expert in electricity, and Nikola was clearly one. Not to mention there was also something else about him, something she couldn't put her finger on, not just yet, but she had always seen a bit of herself in him. The same passion, the same wish to succeed even if he was an outsider… But John wasn't the one who could get that. "Also, the blood thing was months ago, Nikola had proven his worth many times after that."

"Well I don't agree with this, and James won't either."

"I founded the group, John, I get to say who is in it. I'm sorry, but I am willing to take the chance with him."

"Oh please. We are biologists, Helen, what can he want with us? He only wants you and he devised this elaborate plan to get in our group, to gain your trust…"

"Which is a lot different than what a certain barrister did, isn't it?" Helen smiled. "I could have bet that was your actual problem with him. But don't worry, I only have eyes for you."

"I know you do, my love. Speaking of which… you promised me you'll think about us if we solve the blood problem."

"I have."

"Will you marry me, Helen?" John asked, taking her hand into his.

"I love you, you know that." Helen sighed. "But…"

"But we are not soulmates, I know. But you've spent your life not giving a damn what society thinks about you, why do you want to start caring now? Truth is, you haven't felt anything from your soulmate in ages, since you tried to cure him, which means there is a very good chance that he is dead."

"I know that. But maybe if I wait long enough…"

"Yes, you keep saying that. But I still don't see anyone coming for you, and even if he did, how do you know you'll love him more than we love eachother? Maybe the whole soulmate thing is just guidelines. Not to mention that, well…"

"What?"  
"I haven't told this to anyone else, but I feel the need to be honest with you, Helen. You know I love you with my entire being, more than almost anyone I have loved in my life, and I know you feel the same for me. And as for the soulmate thing… truth is, society doesn't allow you to wait for your soulmate more than it allows me to be with mine."

"And what will your soulmate say if you marry me?"

"I don't give a damn to be honest. The fates were mistaken when they assigned our soulmates, Helen. Yours died and mine well… What I'm trying to say is that we love eachother and maybe in time we will learn to be eachother's soulmate, regardless of what our destiny says should happen."

"So we fight everything one more time?"

"Yes. Together, as we always have."

"Alright. Together." With this, Helen closed her eyes and kissed him, relishing the feel of his lips against hers. Maybe there was a chance for them, maybe they didn't need to be soulmates to be happy… Right?


	6. Chapter 6

"Gentlemen, thank you for joining me this evening." Helen said, clearing her throat. "I haven't been completely honest with you, and for that I apologize. Some of you only knew that we were working with blood from a rare species. I am afraid that wasn't all that was to the story."

"Not like we haven't expected that." James smiled at her. "OK, what is it?"

"When I started this group we all agreed that our aim is to study, to figure out ways to exceed the limitations of today's science. And perhaps injecting myself with vampire blood is not exactly the safest thing I could think of, but I firmly believe that this could change the future of humanity forever. We need to know what this does on humans and I want to be the first to try."

"She's kidding, right?" Nikola asked. He could feel that she wasn't lying, but vampire blood? Vampires weren't real, they couldn't have been, and now she was claiming that she had managed to procure a sample of blood from them? That sounded too crazy to be true.

"What don't tell me you didn't figure that out." James grinned. "I've known for a while now you know. I will admit that studying... strange creatures hasn't been as much of a hobby for me as it was for your father, but you should have known I will figure it out. I mean, you've insisted to keep the blood separated from any other samples, at a specific temperature which by the way, would have coagulated pretty much any other type of blood... It was really easy. Don't tell me I was the only one who knew this."

"She told me first." John smiled at him. "You will see that she and I have a lot in common lately."

"And do you agree with this?"

"Of course not." John said, rolling his eyes. "But you try to get that out of her head."

"I'm curious, Helen." James asked. "What does Gregory have to say about this?"

"OK, no need to stall time here. I am going to need someone to inject me with this."

"Helen, you have to tell him you know."

"And I will, in due time. After I am certain I have what to tell him, after all it could have no effect on me."

"I still think we should get a saying in this, and I think it's too dangerous." Nigel intervened. "We have no idea what this could do to you, we haven't done nearly enough tests..."

"Nigel is right, Helen. You can't do this, not yet." James agreed.

"You already know my opinion on the matter." John sighed. "But you're not going to listen to it anyway."

"Let her do it." Nikola interrupted them, words leaving his mouth before he could stop them. This was crazy, he knew it all too well, and from the looks of the others he had just said something terribly wrong, but he could feel how determined she was. And if it was something he had learned about her in the previous months was that most of her ideas were batshit crazy, but all of them were brilliant. And yes, he feared losing her in ways that were impossible to express in words, but she needed someone to support her at the moment and he was going to be at least that for her. "What?" he asked defiantly, not minding the fact that John was glaring at him. "I trust her, and if she says she wants to do this, I don't see how any of us has the right to stop her. I don't know about you, but she made it pretty clear when she invited me in that there are going to be risks, but that we are doing everything in order to learn more, to find out what makes us human and if possible to overcome our limitations. And now you sit here and tell her she can't do any of those things because it is not safe? Who gives you the right to do that?"

"Thank you, Nikola." Helen smiled as she took his hand into hers. "I know I'm asking a lot from you to trust me with, especially given the fact that you're newest among us, but I truly believe I have to do this."

"I know. You did say you need someone to inject you?"

"If you would be so kind to help me, yes." Helen smiled at him.

"It would be my pleasure. Besides I wouldn't leave you on anyone else's hands... at least not with this."

"OK then. Just let me know when you're ready." Helen said as she sat down in a chair, taking a deep breath.

She couldn't hide from him. She was awfully nervous and she was trying to be brave, with a fair amount of success if he were to be honest about it. There was a part of him that hated himself for what he was going to do, that yelled at him, telling him that she might die and that it would only be his fault for encouraging her, but he couldn't back out now, not when she needed him so much. This was important for her, and after all, he had always believed that sometimes you have to put curiosity before any safety measure, and she was doing just that now. So who was he to try and stop her?

"It's ready." he said as he filled the syringe with blood.

"You don't have to go first. John or I could have a go to start." Nigel intervened.

"He's right. No need for unnecessary heroics. The side-effects are completely unknown." James added.

"Thank you, gentlemen. But this experiment was of my design. I shall be the one to prove its worth." Helen said, trying to maintain a reassuring tone. She felt John taking her hand into his, trying to comfort her, and for a second she wished he was indeed her soulmate. He would have known how important this is for her if he were, and he would have supported her, truly supported her.

"Helen, you're certain?" John asked, causing her to curse him under her breath. If they kept trying to stop her she might have ended up listening to them, after all it was safer to just give up... but no, she couldn't possibly afford that, not after everything that she had to face to get there.

"We've risked too much to turn back now. We need to know." she said as she turned her attention to Nikola. "You may proceed, Nikola."

He closed the distance between them and let the needle pierce her skin, feeling exactly the moment when she winced at the pain. But she didn't tell him to stop so he didn't, and instead let the blood slowly leave the syringe and enter her body. It was only when the blood got to her heart than he realized he had something terrible to her. He could feel her burning up, as if each one of her cells were tearing apart, and then smashed back into each other building something that wasn't Helen anymore, not his Helen anyway, and it was only his fault. He had never intended to do this, he hadn't wanted to cause her pain, but this was what she had wanted and he had obliged without even thinking. So when she clutched even harder to his hand, her nails digging into his palm, the only thing he could wish for was for the pain to somehow go away. After all, she had done it for him years before, there was no reason why it couldn't work this time too. So he closed his eyes and focused, letting more and more of her pain fill him. Her pain flooded his body and it took all it got for him not to scream in pain. She clutched his hand, gasping in pain, and waves and waves of pain hit his heart. But then everything stopped and was replaced by something else. There was something in that blood, something that was now inside Helen and something that was now calling to him, whispering to him in a language he couldn't yet understand. What he knew for sure was that his Helen had changed forever into someone else, that whatever link they had was probably all gone now... and all because he couldn't do the most sensitive thing and talk her out of this.


	7. Chapter 7

He hadn't heard from her in days, and this didn't surprise him. He could feel that she was fine, well, as fine as she could have been, under those circumstances, but this didn't change the fact that she had almost died because of him. The most sensitive thing to do under those circumstances was to go back to Paris and forget her, but he couldn't do that, not without saying goodbye, not without apologizing for everything he had done to her.

Finding her was a lot easier than he had expected. She was in the lab, looking at a blood sample under the microscope, and for one moment he wanted to tell her the truth, to tell her that she was his soulmate and that all he ever wanted was to make her happy, to be there for her every time she might need him...

"Hello, Nikola." she greeted him with a smile, interrupting his thoughts. "I am glad you finally decided to come look for me."

"I should have come earlier, but I wasn't sure you wanted to see me. I had no idea what effect the serum had on you."

"That's what I've been trying to figure out myself." Helen sighed. "Here, take a look." She stepped back from the microscope, allowing him to look too.

"What is this?" he asked surprised.

"That's the weird part. It's my blood, and the way my blood cells look... I should feel different, feel anything for that matter, but I don't. Maybe it was only a physiologic change."

"It wasn't. You changed. I can feel it." Nikola said, taking her hand into his. "I don't know what the serum did to you, but you're not you anymore. You're... better in a way, but I can't quite place it."

"And how would you know that?" Helen asked, smiling. "Can you read minds or something?"

"I'm not sure you would want to know that." Nikola sighed, making her roll her eyes. "Come on, Nikola, I thought we were past holding secrets from each other the moment you officially became part of the Five. Or do you think I can't handle the truth? Because I've had enough patronizing from John to be quite honest. He got a little better since we got engaged, but I'm not sure this is going to hold for too long."

"You're getting married?" Nikola almost coughed on his words. He couldn't have heard well, he hoped he didn't.

"We are." Helen smiled. "After all the craziness going around us in the last months, I like to think we deserve at least that. But you haven't answered me. How do you know I am different?"

This was it. He could tell her everything, confess his feelings to her, and be done with it, whether this meant she was going to figure out that he had only entered their group to be near her and get creeped out, or that she was going to jump in his arms. But he couldn't do that. He could feel she was happy about this, if a bit unsure. As much of a bastard Druitt was, she seemed to love him, and if she was going to get married... _Don't marry him, I'm your soulmate_ sounded like a terrible sales pitch.

"Call it intuition, if you want." He smiled back at her. "I'll get back to Paris in a few days. You don't seem to need me anymore."

"Actually, I do. If you could spare a bit more of your time... I want to see all of you tonight. We're not done with the blood, I mean we may not be sure what it did to me, but if any of you is willing to try it too..."

"You want to do more tests?"

"I would never force any of you to do it, you know that. But I have a feeling that we can't stop here, that we are only at the beginning of discovering something marvelous."

"You can always count on me, you know that." He said with a sigh. What was he getting into, this time?

* * *

"I still think we need to destroy the damn thing." John argued. Helen had just told them about her plans of carrying on the experiment and he clearly wasn't happy about it. "It didn't work on you, I don't see why we should bother with it anymore."

"Except it did change me, John. Can't you see? My blood cells were completely transformed."

"Into what?" James intervened. "You don't seem changed at all, not yet, anyway."

"You are right." Helen said. "And I think there is only one way to find out. We need to repeat the experiment. Use someone else, maybe it will have a different effect on them, maybe if it meets different DNA it will react differently."

"And you want one of us to do it?" John asked.

"Of course she does." James smiled. "And I hate saying this, but this time I agree with her."

"What?" John almost yelled at him. "You have no idea what this damn thing will do to you. I am not taking the chance with anyone else, risking her was enough."

"You don't need to be afraid, John. I thought you trusted her. You are marrying her after all. Congratulations for that, by the way."

"I am not afraid. And how do you know we're getting married?"

"I was always able to tell when you were afraid, John." James sighed. "No matter what was the thing that caused you to be afraid... as I can always tell when you want to run from things you are afraid of. But let us not dwell on that. Helen, if you need another one to try your little serum on, I am right here."

"Thank you." Helen smiled at him. "Nikola?"

"I already voiced my opinion on the matter. I am not backing off now."

"Nigel?" Helen asked.

"I say we all have to do it. We are The Five, after all, not the Crazy Three and The Two Chickens. And I, for one, refuse to be less braver than a girl and someone who is not even British. And don't even get me started on you, James."

"I agree." John said with a sigh. "The sooner we do this the sooner you'll see this has no effect and we can get on with our lives."

With this, everything was settled. Nikola watched John, James and Nigel as they injected themselves with the blood, their bodies starting to convulse soon after. But after a little while, they were back to normal, or at least so it seemed. This couldn't be good. If nothing happened to them, John would have the proof that the whole thing was useless and she would stop everything... and end up really not needing him. But if this was really goodbye, he was at least going to do it properly. He dipped the needle into the test tube, filling it with blood, but he didn't inject himself with the serum. Instead, he walked to Helen and handed her the syringe.

"It's only fair, after all." He smiled at her, trying to hide how nervous he was. "I injected you, so if anyone has the right to inject me and change my life forever, it is you."

"What's the matter, Nicky, you're too afraid to do it yourself?" John mocked him, but he chose not to answer to that. Instead, he extended his arm to Helen, relishing the way her fingers ran over it, searching for his vein. She was warm to the touch, her hands a bit shaky, and he couldn't help being happy that she was a bit worried for him. Not nearly enough, of course, she didn't love him after all, but it was better than nothing. He dug his fingers into his palm, revealing his veins to her and soon after he felt the needle pierce his skin.

He had expected the pain, after all he had felt it before with her, but receiving it first hand was a lot worse than anything he could have imagined. The blood started spreading through his body, burning everything in its path, and when it got to his heart he feared it could explode because of the pain. He grabbed her hand tight, trying to keep a composed face, but it soon proved to be an impossible task. The voices that had whispered to him a few days ago, those that had been in her blood, were now talking to him, as if something deep inside him had been awoken by the serum, something ancient, made of darkness and hunger. He felt his teeth grow and pierce his lower lip, the taste of his own blood invading his mouth, and he opened his mouth to scream, but the sounds that got out of his throat were not his voice. He looked into her eyes and saw the horror on her face seconds before feeling it, before sensing that she was terrified of what he had just become. What that was, he didn't know, but he was too mesmerized of how deep he was feeling her to care. It seemed like the serum had amplified the bond he shared with her so much that he could feel her heart rate, feel the way her chest heaved every time she breathed, but most of all he could feel the blood pumping through her veins. Oh God, _her blood_... For a moment he wanted nothing more than to rip her throat open and feast on her. It didn't even have to hurt, he could just kiss her and then allow himself to melt into her, to get lost into that irresistible scent of hers and to let her taste invade his mouth... He had longed to become one with her the moment he had lay his eyes on her and now he could actually have that. His thoughts were interrupted by a sharp pain in his left arm, like something very sharp had pierced his skin, and it took him only a fraction of a second to realize that had actually been Helen's pain and not his. He let go of her hand, shocked at what he had done, and she backed off, horror on her face. He lifted his palm, watching what once used to be his nails. But now talons had taken their place, talons that were now dripping with blood, with _her_ blood. Dear God, what had he done?


	8. Chapter 8

He could feel her presence near his bed and he could feel that she was worried. The thought of it made him happy, not that he wanted her to suffer, but on second thought it was good to feel that she was worried for him, even if she didn't love him. There was something, not much under those circumstances, but still it was better than nothing.

 _She's still going to marry Druitt, you know._ A voice sounded in his head and he did his best to ignore it. Instead, he struggled to open his eyes and, when he managed, he saw her face light up.

"I was worried I might have exaggerated a bit with the tranquilizer I gave you." She gave him half of a smile, but he could see she was still worried.

"What happened?" he managed to ask, or at least that was what he intended to. But the voice that left his throat was not his.

"I'm so sorry Nikola, I had no idea this was going to happen to you!" She was almost crying now and still he couldn't determine why. He was feeling ok, a bit tired, yes, but other than that he felt stronger than ever.

"Where am I?" he managed to ask.

"John brought you to my place." Helen sighed. "It wasn't easy to convince him, but I told him I had to keep you under observation, at least until we find a way to fix... this." she said gesturing towards him, but somehow avoiding his look.

"You convinced Druitt to carry me all the way to your home?" Nikola laughed. "I imagine he had a thing or two to say against that."

"It didn't take him long. You were right, the serum does change us, I just never expected the change to be so drastic." Helen sighed. "Speaking of which, how are you feeling?"

"Now that you mention it... I am a bit hungry." He said and felt her shiver at his words. Why the hell was she acting like that?

"Can you please stop staring at my neck?" Helen asked, interrupting his thoughts. "You're making me nervous."

"Why? Helen talk to me, what happened?" he asked, but she couldn't reply him, because sobs took over her. She hated herself for this. She was the one that messed this up, that made the stupid mistake of thinking she can play with things she didn't understand fully, and now he was going to suffer all his life because of this. And this probably meant a very long time given the current situation.

"I'm so sorry, Nikola." she whispered as she caressed his face, and he leaned into her touch, unable to believe how lucky he was. Whatever her reasons were- he could sense it was mostly guilt, but he couldn't determine why- she was touching him, and it was stirring something deep inside him. But then his eyes fell on the bandage she had on her left hand and the memories invaded his mind. He was the one that had done that, he was the one that had hurt her, and he was the one that had been turned into... into what, exactly? He didn't know the answer to that, but it was something she was afraid of. He had turned into something she feared and the mere thought of this was unbearable. He couldn't determine when exactly he grabbed her hand, holding her tight enough so that she couldn't escape, or when one of his talons went up her bandage, cutting it in half. He could feel her pulse quicken at this, but she made no attempt of running. Instead, she closed her eyes, and all he could feel was her acceptance of the situation, like somehow she was the only one responsible for this and this was the price she had to pay. He pulled her closer to him, until his lips touched her skin, as gentle as a kiss, and he felt a shiver going down her spine. Her wound was bad enough and his lips went up and down, exploring it, trying to determine the best place where he could sink his teeth in and- wait. What was he doing? The horror of what he had just attempted to do made him hate himself. He had almost hurt her, again in a few nights, and the thought of it was too much to bear. He threw away her hand and turned on the other side, closing his eyes. This was going to be easier if he just lay there, pretending she didn't exist, pretending he didn't want to drink her in, and most of all praying that she would give up on him and let him be. He couldn't handle her mercy, and her trying to cure him of whatever this was was too dangerous to even think at.

He had expected her to run away, to call for help at least, but she didn't do any of these. Instead, she leaned over him, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. ""You didn't hurt me."She whispered in his ear. "I knew you were still in there somewhere." she said, smiling at him. "I will figure this out, Nikola, I promise. I will bring you back." she said and with these words she left. The touch of her lips still lingered on his cheek, calming his tormented mind. But it wasn't enough. It was never going to be enough again. He had turned into a monster and now there was really no chance that she would end up loving him someday. Not to mention that he risked hurting her at any moment. She wanted to help him, sure, but that was only because she felt guilty for what had happened to him, and not because she was in love with him. He got closer to the window and looked outside. It was pretty far down, but he figured there was a chance he would survive the fall. And if he didn't, he would still do what he had to, which was getting out of her life, permanently and as soon as he could. He couldn't afford going to her and telling her goodbye, because she was most certainly going to try and stop him, and she was also going to succeed, after all she had done it before.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, mate." Nikola heard a voice He turned around and noticed a very naked Nigel Griffin watching him from the other side of the room.

"What the- how the hell did you manage to get in? And for Heaven's sake, put some clothes on, will you?"

"I will as soon as I talk to you. But if you don't want to see me, that can be solved." With these words, Nigel disappeared, leaving Nikola alone in his room. Or at least that was what it looked like.

"Don't look so freaked out, mate, you're the scarier one." Nigel said from somewhere. "Although I guess you'd prefer being invisible now, huh?"

"How are you doing this?"

"Apparently I can make my skin reflect the light around it, so it looks like it doesn't touch anything. I'm sorry I busted in like this, but she insisted going to see you, and she insisted being alone, and after what happened last time... I figured it was better to keep on eye on her."

"You really like doing this don't you? Keep an eye on her?"

"No need to get pushy here. I am not in love with her, if that is what you're insinuating. But she has a crazy enough life with three guys pining for her, two of them being in love with each other and all... Oh no, I couldn't begin to compete with that."

"This is why you didn't tell her I was stalking her?"

"No. That one I did because the soulmate thing is crappy and I figured everyone deserves a chance, even you."

"She's in love with Druitt." Nikola muttered. "Not to mention that the way I look now she's not going to want anything to do with me anymore, and I think it's better this way, who knows what I could do to her."

"Why because you're a vampire now?" Nigel asked. "Yeah that is what the serum did to you. Apparently it activates mutant genes in our DNA, it made you a vampire, it made me invisible and it made Druitt teleport. James is just being the usual smartass he is, I am not so sure what has changed about him."

"So this is what I am now." Nikola sighed. "And this is exactly why I have to leave. I don't stand her seeing me like this."

"You being like this is her fault, actually. But you've heard her, she trusts that she can change you back, and if she promised you this... You haven't known her like I did. Trust me, if she makes a promise to someone, she will do everything in her power to keep that promise."

"But I don't want her to do that." Nikola said. "She has a life, she found her soulmate, she's going to marry him and me being here would only stand in the way of this."

"And do you think Druitt is really her soulmate?"

"She's marrying him."

"Yeah well here's a little something for your textbook, mate. The soulmate system sucks. I went to someone who pretended she could see who my soulmate is, and she told me she is not even born yet, that she will be born in the next century. And I figured that is impossible, because then I would have to be around 90 when I meet her, and that couldn't be right, you know? But then the Source Blood happened and I stopped thinking there is such thing as impossible."

"That's nonsense." Nikola said. "There is no way this woman could have known this about your soulmate, there is no science behind this."

"OK. You want something more reliable then?" Nigel grinned. "Maybe all you have to do with Helen is wait. Sure she loves Druitt now, but in some years? Teleporters are not immortal. Vampires are as far as I know. Here's something you can think about while you try getting rid of those claws, and you should do that, because frankly they don't suit you at all." He said, leaving Nikola alone. He glared at his talons that were still refusing to disappear. Nigel couldn't have possibly been right, but then again he had just been transformed into a vampire, so maybe impossible had just become a bit more relative... That, and she had kissed him. The thought of it made him smile. Maybe not everything was lost in the end, maybe he could make it work in due time. WIth this in mind, he closed his eyes and focused as hard as he could. The next thing he felt was his talons entering back in their place.


	9. Chapter 9

The last months had been crazy for her. Toying with the Source Blood had been a mindless thing to do, in the beginning, but the benefits of it had overcome the consequences. Mostly everyone had adapted to the transformation- James was acting like nothing had really changed, and it mostly hadn't, except for the fact that he was now being even more infuriating than he used to be, being a smartass all the time, John actually began enjoying to teleport, and so had she in a way, after all travelling from one place to another wasn't that bad if she did it in his arms, and Nigel... Nigel was doing great too, if she overlooked the fact that she had ran into him naked a lot more times than she had wanted to, and that she had also ran into him hiding paintings that were _clearly_ not supposed to be there.

Nikola however... Nikola was another story. John kept insisting that she should keep her distance from him, that he was dangerous now, but he was getting better at controlling his transformation, and deep down she trusted him. Like sure, he wasn't very happy with the animal blood diet she was keeping him on, kept saying that it didn't satisfy him enough, but he had promised he wouldn't feed on humans and she had believed him. She had to, because him being this way was completely her fault, and she couldn't do anything to hurt him, despite John's advices. But she knew that if it ever came to it, if she had caught him trying to hurt someone, she was going to have to stop him. Because she could overlook art theft, but she crossed the line at murder. It was lucky she had some sort of a calming effect on him and that he had agreed to take part in every test she had proposed. In short, given the circumstances, her life was pretty good, and it would have been perfect, if it hadn't been for her dreams.

They started sometime in late July, and at first she brushed them off as something inoffensive, as scary as they were. But then, by the half of August, they had got worse.

She could feel the rain on her face as she walked in the night, wind surrounding her. She should have been cold, but the way her body trembled with anticipation was not because of the weather. She was following someone, a young girl, and she could feel herself laugh at the girl's stupidity. She was out there, all alone in the night, displaying herself like the pesky human that she was, unaware of the fact that she was being watched from the shadows. It would have been so easy to take her on the spot, but where would have been the fun in that? No, preys were always tastier when they were scared. She craved the thrill of the hunt, the way she would most certainly try to escape the second she would suspect what was planned for her... Not that it would do any good to her, of course. She knew that running would be completely useless for her victim, that she was going to catch her before she even had the chance to run.

She felt her victim's pulse quickening and something dark stirred inside of her. So her victim knew that she was being followed. Good. She was going to do it quick, after all screaming would only give her away, and she didn't want that. Just a cut or two across her neck and her blood would flow. She could feel herself not being so sure about how the blood would spill out of her, like she didn't have too much training on the matter, but in the end it didn't matter that much. All it mattered was that her victim suffered, that for one second she would feel exactly what had been in her soul for a very long time, not being wanted, being sometimes rejected even... and dying because she couldn't bring herself to hurt the one who had hurt her, not even for a second. So this young woman had to do.

She was so close to her victim now that she could feel her heartbeats. She was scared, and she quickened her pace, but it didn't do her any good. She extended her arm, grabbing her victim's shoulder, and that was when she had turned to face the one that was following her. She felt her own heart rate quicken as she prepared to attack. This was going to be over quick. She raised her hand in the air, ready to strike, and the screams of a woman filled her ears.

It took her a while to realize that it wasn't the woman in her dreams that had screamed, it was her. She was alone in her bed and she clutched her blanket, trying to get rid of the feelings her nightmare had left her with. It was just a dream, she tried to tell herself, but this time it had felt too real. She tried to go back to sleep, but she was too scared that the dreams would come back to be able to fall asleep again.

* * *

"Rough night?" James asked her when he saw her the next day.

"Just some really bad dreams." Helen shrugged. There was no need he had to know the truth, after all. It would only make him worried.

"I know the feeling." James sighed. "Had some of my own. And if this wasn't worse enough, we have a new case."

"I hope it's nothing too serious."

"I hope that too." James said, but he wasn't so sure about it. "Scotland Yard only called me because the murder is a lot more violent than what they are normally used too, or at least so they say, but I have a feeling they fear they're dealing with a serial killer. This doesn't look like a one time thing. I doubt they will stop here."

"Who's the victim?"

"A prostitute named Mary Ann Nichols." James replied. "Her throat has been slit twice, and she also had her abdomen ripped open, like the killer wanted to remove her organs. But he was sloppy, like he didn't know exactly what he was looking for... Helen, are you alright?" he asked when he saw her face. "I'm sorry if I went into too much detail."

"I'm fine." Helen snapped at him. It was the only thing she could say, after all. Because how do you confess to your best friend that for the first time in many years, you felt something from your soulmate, and that he also happens to be a killer?


	10. Chapter 10

Her soulmate had a name. That much she knew. Jack the Ripper. And for some reason, after lying low for more than 15 years, he had come back. This is what the newspapers had called him. She had read every newspaper she could get her hands on, taken in all the details of the murders, tried to find some connection between her and that monster who was somehow her soulmate, but she couldn't. And then, when James had come to her, begging for her help, she had no choice than to go to the crime scenes, trying to gather as much evidence as she could. The first crime scene she had gone to had taken a huge toll on her. All that blood, that violence… How could the fates expect her to fall in love with someone who was capable of that? Not to mention that she was happy now, getting ready to be married with a man she loved, despite the fact that he wasn't her soulmate. She hadn't told John anything yet, because how could she have? Telling your fiancé that your soulmate was the most wanted man in all London wasn't exactly her idea of a conversation. Truth was, she had nobody she could talk to.

She especially felt guilty about not telling James, because he had become obsessed with catching the killer, and hiding the fact that she had a connection to him was nothing short of a betrayal. But then again, she had only felt him the night the killings had started. All that hunger, all that will to hurt something, and then nothing. But he had been connected to her that night, and she had a feeling he had somehow managed to sever their connection. After all, this was probably how he had disappeared for so many years. In a way, she was grateful for that, because there was no way she wanted to be a killer's soulmate.

It was only when the fifth victim was found that she realized what a terrible mistake she had done. All the blood that had been spilled was on her hands. So, when she had gone to James and confessed everything, she expected the worse. She expected him telling her that he never wanted to talk to her again, and she would have deserved every second of that. What she never expected however was him hugging her tight, trying to comfort her.

"Helen dear, trust me, I know how you feel. But this monster is not your soulmate." He told her. "I have a new lead on him, and at the moment I doubt he's even human."

"I felt him, James. The night the murders started. He wanted nothing more than to hurt that woman, and I woke up before I could feel him killing her, but we all know what happened next."

"Do we now?" James asked. "For all you know, he could have stopped before actually hurting her."

"We found her body, James."

"I know. But have you ever considered that maybe your soulmate isn't the only thing that is running on the streets at night?"

"That's impossible."

"You know I thought that too." James smiled. I doubted my soulmate too once, thought the worst of them, but then someone very dear to me managed to convince me that maybe the thing I feared the most wasn't true."

"You don't happen to want to tell me who this man is? I could use a bit of encouraging right now." Helen sighed, and James smiled at her. If only she had known… But there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"Trust me, you wouldn't want to know, and if I told you, you would say I did a very stupid thing by telling you."

"You make no sense." Helen muttered. "I really am not in the mood for riddles, James."

"And I apologize for that, believe me, but you will understand one day."

"Do you think I should tell John?" Helen asked with a small voice, but James shook his head.

"You love him, Helen, and it's not like you are going to cancel your engagement with him just because you think you found your soulmate. It would break his heart, and it is the last thing I would want for him, for any of you. You two are madly in love with each other, any fool can see that, and telling him would only ruin that for you. You will learn to love him someday, and he already loves you, so I really don't see why you would want to endanger that."

"You're right, my dear friend. As always." Helen sighed. She did love John, even if lately he had been rather distant to her. But that was her fault in a way probably. The Ripper case had taken its toll on each of them. So she hugged James one more time and she went home, praying that James was right. She couldn't care less about who her soulmate was, since she was marrying John, but to know that she was the soulmate of a killer... It would have meant there was something terribly wrong with her, and she wasn't sure she could have handled that.

It was only when she was left alone then the thought hit her. She loved John with all her being, especially given the fact that these last months, before all the Ripper madness had started, he had been so caring to her. After all, wasn't this what he had promised? That maybe one day, they will learn to love each other that they will end up being each other's soulmate? Maybe there was an explanation for all this, for the reason her soulmate had disappeared for so long. Perhaps she had a new soulmate, one that was a killer, and one that had the ability to escape almost instantly from any crime scene. She didn't want to think at that, it couldn't be true, but the evidence was telling her otherwise.


	11. Chapter 11

It took her a few days to gather the courage to confront him, but when one night, when she had come late from her work with James, only for her to find him in her house, glaring at her, she knew it was the time.

"Where have you been?" John asked coldly as she entered her house.

"James called me, he said he had a lead on the Ripper case." she answered.

"In the middle of the night. That's awfully convincing."

"Yes well there was a new murder and-"

"Don't lie to me!" He yelled at her, closing the distance between them. It was then when she lost her temper.

"Five murders, their throats cut, their bodies desecrated in a manner that few beings can achieve." She began, looking him straight in his face. She had to see his reaction, had to read it before he would have the chance of denying it. "Instant escape from the crime scene?"

"And so it must be me?" John asked. He seemed amused by her assumption.

"You seem flattered." She replied.

"Oh, I am." He said with a dark grin as he took a razor out of his pocket.

"Deft manner of proving your innocence, threatening my life." she spat at him.

"Call it self-preservation." He said as he closed the distance between them, holding the razor to her face. "Why on earth should I let you frame me for crimes I haven't committed?" He sneered at her.

"Well, if you're innocent, then you have nothing to fear" she replied, trying to maintain her composure.

"You sound just like James." He almost spat at her. "How much time have you been spending together?"

"And now jealousy. For whom?" She asked and he pushed the razor into her skin. She could feel the pain now and she knew that it was a matter of seconds until her skin would break and the blood would start flowing. She saw the anger reflected in his eyes and knew that she had hit home with that comment. It wasn't like she hadn't suspected it, especially lately. She was scared, but she was sure as hell not going to cry or beg for his mercy.

"How dare you question my motives?" John asked, his voice trembling. "My...Feelings? You... You hunt me like an animal. After all we've been through." He said, as he caressed her side with his free hand.

"My heart... is yours." He said, as if he was somehow angry with himself for that. "Look at my face." He whispered, pushing the razor harder into her skin. She closed her eyes, preparing to take his final blow. It was only when she heard the razor implanting itself into the wall next to her, when she felt the gush of air caused by him disappearing on her face that she left the room, trying to get some composure. But it didn't stop the sobs from overcoming her. How could he treat her like that? After everything they had gone through together, now, when she was beginning to fall in love with him? There must have been something wrong with her, something in her that attracted this type of men.

Nikola jumped off his bed like an electric current had ran trough him. Helen was in danger, he could feel that, feel her fear. Something was threatening her and the mere thought of someone touching her, making her feel like that, made his blood boil. He had got better at controlling his urges, but at that moment they all kicked back in, and he felt his talons getting out of their place. He was going to go to her place, find whoever was making her feel like that, and he was going to make them pay for it. His rational mind tried to stop him, to tell him that she wouldn't want that, that she was going to question how he even knew she was in danger in the first place, but he didn't want to listen. This time his future victim was not some innocent young woman, like it had been that night a few months before. This time it was someone who was hurting his beloved and he wasn't going to let them get away with it. He ran to her place as fast as he could, but he was too late. When he got there, she was already alone.

"Nikola, what are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door.

"I had a feeling you might want someone to talk to." He shrugged and she couldn't help a little smile at that.

"One day you will have to tell me how the bloody hell you get these feelings, you know? But this time you were wrong. I am perfectly fine, thank you."

"Fine, I ran out of my medicine." Nikola sighed dramatically. "But I figured it would be more considerate to act like I had a feeling something was wrong." It was a lie, but it was better than telling her the truth. He felt bad for taking advantage of her like that, because the past months had taught him that she had felt guilty for what he had become and that she was willing to do anything to help him with handling it, from nights spent near his bed, holding his hand while he struggled to gain control of himself, of his urges, to paying him random visits when he had got better and she had decided to risk letting him on her own, visits that had no other purpose than to check on him, not that she ever admitted that.

"So you have an excuse to come to my place at this hour". Helen said, rolling her eyes. "You are impossible sometimes, you know that? Wait here, I'll bring it to you right away."

"Where is Druitt?" Nikola asked. He nearly missed how she tensed when she heard him saying his name, that little jolt of fear that went down her spine. Nearly, but not fully.

"He went out for a bit" she said. She didn't say the rest, the part with _and he won't be happy to find you here when he comes back_ , but it was not like she needed to say it.

"Are you sure you are alright?" Nikola asked.

"Never better." she said with a smile as she handed him the syringe. "Be more careful next time, alright? And do try to visit me at more decent hours."

He took the syringe from her and bid her goodbye. After all, he had got what he had come for. She was fine now, and she would have never admitted that she needed help with that bastard. But she didn't need to, because he had a feeling he knew where that bastard was.

He was on his way when he felt something different. A storm of feelings took over his heart. He had never felt anything so powerful from her before. It was almost like the Helen he was feeling was a different one, one that was more cold and calculated. He felt her anger overcoming her, giving her strength, like she was doing something that she had wanted to do for years. She was hurting someone, and there was a very dark part of her that was enjoying every second of it. After a few minutes, there was nothing but silence and peace. He couldn't help wondering what made her feel like that, but he didn't allow to dwell on that thought for too long, because he had more important things to do. It wasn't until later, when he found a battered Druitt sitting in an alleyway, looking like he had just seen a ghost, that he realized he had been late for the second time that night.


	12. Chapter 12

It was weird for her, watching him from the shadows, especially given the fact that she didn't seem to feel anything from him. How could she have possibly fall in love with him? This man who didn't feel anything as he was approaching his victim from the shadows, the man who she was cursed to be soulmates with, even if in those moments she felt nothing but disgust for him.

"Still at it, Molly?" she heard him ask as he approached the blonde woman in front of him.

"Oh...Mr. Druitt, you frightened me. No rest for the gifted, you know that." the woman seemed to be relieved to meet someone who she knew, someone she had nothing to be scared of. How long had he been seeing her that she was feeling so comfortable around him? Helen couldn't stop asking herself. That was probably what he did, becoming acquainted with them, getting close enough for them to trust him, and then one night he just attacked them from the shadows. But she was going to save this one even if she had to give her life for it.

"Indeed I do." Druitt answered silently, as he walked out of the darkness.

"You shouldn't be in the habit of jumping out at the ladies these days, what with all the troubles." The woman seemed to be more comfortable now.

"What was I thinking? Forgive me." Druitt answered. He sounded amused, as if he was enjoying every second of this. Helen watched him draw his blade out of his cane and found her fingers trembling on the trigger. _This is the man who almost killed you last night, don't be stupid._ Her rational mind tried to tell her, and she knew it was right. But he was also her soulmate, and she didn't want to think how much killing him would have pained her.

"John! This ends here." Helen said coldly, stopping him on his tracks. He pushed the blade back in the cane, but kept approaching the other woman.

"Helen, what a lovely surprise. I see you want back to your natural hair color. Good, I like it better this way. Molly, I would like you to meet my fiancée. Or, should I say, former fiancée, Helen Magnus. Doctor Helen Magnus."

"Doctor? I'm pleased to meet you, ma'am. Well...I'll be on my way." Molly said, as she started to back out. She had had her share of angry wives or fiancées that caught their men cheating on them and she clearly wasn't in the mood for a new one.

"Stay. I insist." Druitt said coldly as he grabbed Molly's arm and pulled her to him.

"John, let me help you before you make things worse." Helen said, trying to calm him down. Maybe there was still hope for them. If only she got him to stop, just this time.

"And how is that possible? I've already murdered, what, seven whores? How could one more make the slightest difference?"

"Murdered?" Molly's voice was trembling now and it only made Druitt more thrilled. He grabbed the blonde woman, pulling her to him, as he brought the knife to her throat.

"What more have I to lose?" Druitt sneered. "I already lost my mind, I lost you!" he screamed. "And thanks to our little… rendez-vous last night, I lost what was left of my dignity. At least I will take that back. I was stupid last night, letting you hurt me like that, but I swear to God I will cut you open before you lay another finger on me again."

"Your power's driving you mad, John. I can help." Helen whispered. "Listen to yourself. _I_ hurt you last night? You almost killed me!"

"Ah, yes, at home I almost have, but in the alleyway… I still don't know what the hell got into you. Must have been that stupid wig. But none of this matters now. I won't let you take my power away. It's all I have left."

"Let her go." Helen said, pointing her revolver at him.

"As the lady wishes." Druitt said with a mocking bow, just before slitting Molly's throat. Helen barely had the time to fire as he disappeared in a flash, leaving her alone with Molly in the alleyway. She was going to deal with him later, but now she had someone to save. And, as she kneeled on the pavement, cradling Molly in her arms, trying to stop her bleeding, she swore to find Druitt and make him pay for everything. Yes, she still loved him, he was technically speaking still her soulmate, but she was going to stop him even if it was going to break her heart in a million pieces.

It took her a few days to gather the courage to call a meeting of The Five- well, actually, of The Four left. But what was happening was her doing and she was going to take full responsibility for it.

"You've all probably found out by now." her tone was grim and Nikola barely had the strength to stop himself from forgetting about everything and taking her in his arms, to try and make her forget about everything. "The man who we've been searching for, the one who called himself Jack the Ripper…" she took a deep breath before continuing. "… had been amongst us all along. I wish I could tell you that there is still a chance I might be wrong about this, but I saw it with my own eyes. It was John all along. He is my soulmate and I felt his bloodlust growing all this time and I didn't do anything about this. The blood of those women is on my hands." Helen's voice was trembling now.

"Nobody is blaming you, Helen." James sighed. "You weren't the only one who was blind."

"But I was his soulmate, James!" she barely managed to say before the sobs overcame her. "I was the only one who could have stopped this."

"And you are the only one who can stop him now." Nikola said, taking her hand into his. "But you are not alone. We will help with anything we can. It's the least we can do."

It still puzzled her how Nikola could be so helpful sometimes. His touch was warm and comforting and her fingers interlaced with his without her even thinking. It was extremely soothing, as if merely the act of touching him had the power to take her mind off everything else.

"You will need protection from him, though." Nikola said. "And no, I am not insinuating you can't take care of yourself, just that you could use an EM shield to keep him from teleporting in your house."

"You can do that?" Helen couldn't help a little smile.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" Nikola asked, acting as if someone had brought him the biggest offense possible. "I can come to your home and install everything this evening."

"Thank you, Nikola." Helen whispered.

"I don't think it's a good idea, going home with him. I'll come too. In case John shows up."

"In case John shows up, I am the vampire, not you, Watson. I can handle him." Nikola sneered.

"I will be fine, James, I assure you of that." Helen smiled reassuringly.

"James Watson, you are a royal jackass and I hope you know that." Nigel spat at James when they were alone.

"I have no idea what you mean." James replied.

"Oh don't pull that on me. Don't you dare tell me the great Sherlock Holmes hasn't figured it out. She blames herself, damn it! Druitt was not her soulmate and we both know that."

"No, we don't. It could happen that someone is soulmate to more than one person."

"Someone, yes. Druitt? No offense, mate, but he's not exactly soulmate material."

"He was to me." James sighed.

"To you, yes. To her? No. You should tell her."

"And risk her being hurt again? I refuse to do that, I refuse to give her false hope because of a theory that could prove to be wrong, not to mention that even if it is right I am not sure it will be any better for her. Besides, it's not my business. She needs friends now, not soulmates, and that is exactly what I plan on being for her."

"Fine. I will love to see your face when your theory comes true, though."

"We'll both be dead before that happens." James said. "Figuratively speaking, I mean."


End file.
